I am split, and I can love others deeply too.” Talking over the phone he admits “this life of duality hurts sometimes.” He says “It is trauma, but they are little joys. At least, he says, he was trying to keep the urges down. Now in his late 30s, he says for two years in his marriage, he had tried to be loyal, and forgo his orientation which he refers to as bisexuality. True, it was arranged by his father who was unwell, and wished his son to be married, but it was for a whole set of other complex reasons, including a hope in the layered ambiguities of sexuality, and love, and companionship. The marriage was not just for convenience, or for an alibi.
She was easygoing, and he told her many secrets during the first few months but not about his bisexuality. He married his wife at his father’s behest, and he had liked her. Between the home land, and the adopted land of his parents, and between expectations, and his own reality.Īnd the author said - “I am who I am and that's who I am.” The Ukranian author Nikolai Gogol’s name was also the name of the character in Jhumpa Lahiri’s novel The Namesake. He wouldn’t give his name, but offers Gogol as a pseudonym. He also has trysts with men, passionate encounters but then comes back to his wife. On some rainy afternoons, he likes to hold his wife’s hands and watch the drops shatter on the ground.
